A Few Observations

Howdy, Everyone.

I've been in Peru for one full week now, and I present to you a few general observations:

1. Horns
This may come across the wrong way, but Peruvians are the horniest people I know. I bet there is more honking going on in this country at any given moment than from within a gaggle of gooses. As I may have conveyed to some of you, driving in this country requres great skill, largely because the drivers are complete savages. Perhaps that may be the reason for the exorbident amount of horn usage, but I'm not so sure. I am not exaggerating, but picture a wide open road, no car in front of you, no pedestrians dashing across the road...just wide open pavement for blocks, and then there it is....beeep beeep...or worse yet, the dreaded Euro noise maker that sounds something like a ruptured clown horn, "ba-bleep ba-bleep, ba-bleep ba-bleep". Come on, people. Is this really necessary?

2. Chicken and Spuds
Chicken and taters are served at every meal of the day, just about everywhere you go. Lots of pan-fried chicken and some form of fried potatoes. My tolerance for chicken and tatoes is wearing thin. My weight may stay the same down here, but I fear my cholesterol is on the rise...I've probably already consumed enough oil to lube a Chevy. There's no escaping "el plato de pollo y papas" as far as I can see.

3. Canned Milk
Somebody help me here, please. How does this stuff work? How I long for a big bowl of tasty flax ceral only to be overcome by fear of milk in a can. I remember Mom baking back in the day with canned milk every once in awhile...their was a girl cow's head on the label...but I never drank the stuff straight up. To make matters worse, there are different types/brands of canned milk that add to the confusion. Are there any tips for putting this stuff down without ruining my love for milk, like adding sugar or salt, etc.? Can you mix it up with Quick or rich chocolately Ovaltine and come out okay? Any advice welcome!

4. Inca Cola
While on the topic of ominous beverages, may I present to you, Inca Cola. A Peruvian favorite since 1935, Inca Cola is enjoyed by millions. Buy it by the can or go for the gusto with a full 1 liter bottle for the entire family! Don't let the radioactive green color scare you away. A supersaturated solution of high fructose corn syrup and your daily allowances of carmel color and FD&C Yellow #5 are scientifically concoted to create a carbonated elixer with a taste reminiscient of the ever popular "Hubba Bubba" bubble gum of yesteryear. Pick up a six pack at your local grocer today! Cavities form on contact with this stuff. Beware!.

5. Women's Shoes...
Are everywhere.. I don't think it's a stretch to say that Peruvian women have quite an affection for shoes. Shoe store after shoe store line the streets. Every little nook has numerous women's shoes in it. Within one short city block in Miraflores (maybe the length of half a football field), I counted no fewer than 10 women's shoe stores. I can't help but think of being a kid and going to Grandma's house once a week during summer vacation. A trip to Grandma's always included lunch at one of the region's finest resturants: White Castle, Johnel's or the Purple Steer. Unfortunately for me, a stop at Zayre or Sears Surplus was usually on the itinerary. As a kid, I couldn't stand those places, and if I recall correctly (my mom can attest) I would usually act up and become a pain in the butt. I remember two things vividly about Zayre and Sears Surplus: the first is Grandma talking about and buying blouses all the time and secondly, lots of shoes...scattered up and down the aisles and haphazardly stacked on the fragile shelves...some in boxes...some connected by a thin nylon string holding the pair together, one shoe buried in a mess of pleather soles, the other dangling on the side of the sale rack. Take that image if you will, and multiply it by about 50. Madness if you ask me!

Just a few things I've observed since I've been in town. I now observe that it's midnight. I think my stomach is finally taking a nap. So will I. Till next time, Take care.

Scott